strrive-deactivated20140202 ;   “I’ll protect you with my life.”

Send for my muse’s reaction.

         _{Empty promises and empty words.
         Nothing really had any meaning, when directed at her—
         All of it was just noise, static, nothing that she could truly believe.}

         _{Perhaps that, in the end, was what hurt the most. It was not the cruel words tossed at her or the vivid reality of her situation and how she lived. Not the people around her whose lives she destroy piece by piece, not the people who manipulated her, not the fact that she was not meant to be her own person under any means and that there was no point in fighting to be her own person. No, that wasn’t quite right—}

                           _{Promises meant everything in the universe to her.}

_{They were a tether that kept her connected—}

         _{So that was not right. The thing that hurt the most, was perhaps when she was powerless to do anything in order to help, but even more so when she could not keep her own promises. When she could fulfill them or do anything in order to progress forwards with them, could not do a single thing to keep them close to her because promises were what kept her connected to the world, to the universe, yet she found herself unable to keep a single one. So few promises she made, yet all of them were slipping from her grasp.}

         _{Xion had run despite her protests, despite her pleads for her to stay there in that white room that were lost with a slam of the door that left her alone with DiZ. The Organization was there at their doorstep and she did not want to look out the window because she did not want to know, did not want to see. Could only remain an ever withering flower as she stood there for a few moments before sitting back down carefully, staring down at the table, at her sketchbook that had a blank page. Out of the corner of her eye she could see DiZ’s stiff form, could hear his derisive noise, could feel the extent of his hatred for her, how much he truly believed that Nobodies were never to have existed. A flash of darkness and then he was gone.}

                                                      _{And Riku took his place moments later.}

         _{Without asking or looking she knew that he was aware of the situation as it stood and she clasped her hands together tightly in her lap as she stared down at her hands, at the table, at her white dress, at her blank sketchbook. In that moment it would be so easy to erase herself from the world, from all of the worlds, because she was like a ghost that was never meant to exist. That was what she was, and there was no way to get around that—never meant to exist, always there, yet unwanted and unnecessary because if she had not been there, if she had not existed, none of what was happening would have happened. Not in the way that it did.}

         _{The young man who had come to watch over his best friend strode towards the large window and pulled the curtain back and peered outside and he made a low noise in his throat. The blonde couldn’t help but wonder over the fact that so much time had passed, that he looked so different—so much taller. Much taller than when they first met at Castle Oblivion, and she supposed that she was taller too, though she had no idea what she looked like. Just that her dress had grown shorter on her, that from brief glances at her reflection her face was no longer soft. And in that moment she wondered if there would be no more time for her to grow into herself.}

                  _{Attention was drawn back to that white room, that white cage, when the curtain rustled back into place and the keyblade wielder was striding closer to her, his presence absolute. Riku had such a presence that it was impossible to ignore him most of the time, and Naminé knew that, and she finally looked up from her daze and stared at him with a passive expression, taking in the slight downwards curve of his mouth, the fact that she could not see his eyes. Always covered, always blindfolded, and faintly she wondered if this would be the last time that she saw him.}

_{”I’ll protect you with my life.”}

         _{What pretty words. Words that brought a faint smile to her face almost immediately but it was miniscule, it was an empty smile that accompanied her empty wide eyes and she just stared at him for a few moments. Such a spoken promise was so lovely in its meaning, was so heavy as well, and she knew that he meant it. But it was incorrect in its statement and in whom it was directed towards, but then again it could be taken as an indirect promise.}

         _{Because Riku would not protect her—not the Nobody who had ruined his best friend’s memories. Not the girl who could not keep the single promise that she made him to protect the aforementioned friend, not the girl who was the shadow of his other best friend who was never meant to exist. There was no use in protecting her, no gain in it, and she knew that it was not a promise to protect her. It was a promise to protect Sora. But she couldn’t help but take in that spoken promise to shelter it in her empty chest and to let it fill her because it was still a promise yet she couldn’t help but say—}

                                                      _{”No, you won’t.”}

         _{Such bitter words, such a soft voice, such an innocent face—what lies. Everything about her was a lie and she stood up and smiled at him with gentled eyes and turned away from him because she had things to do. Had things to accomplish that she could not get around and there was no saving Xion, there was no saving Roxas, and there was no saving herself.}

                                         N e v e r m e a n t t o e x i s t.