notmeanttoexiist:

         Her eyes dart up to find their twin’s when the other asks the question.  While there’s sadness there {as if she could feel sadness.  hah.  what an idiot} there is, more than that, surprise.  Surprise that Namine cares.  Xion knows that she has drawn the girl’s progress to a stunning halt, so the concept that the Nobody before her could even begin to care about her…

                           It is such a strange, foreign idea.  That people could care for her.  Even when she is worse than useless.

                      “I wish…”

Her voice catches, because if she speaks it, it will make it real, and the reality of her wish’s foolishness, selfishness, impossibility will be thrust into the light and Xion will really have to see it.  Because why should she deserve anything that this boy, this Sora does?  He is real; flesh and blood and bone and heart.  And she is nothing but a sham.

        And yet; she speaks anyway, eyes dropping to her lap and a bitter smile playing across her lips.

          “I wish that his happy ending didn’t have to…didn’t have to come at the expense of mine.”

         _{When Naminé realized that there was an interference in her attempts and that something, someone, was stopping her progression in trying to reawaken Sora she had to think deeply about what could have happened. Largely because none of them, not herself or DiZ or Riku, knew of the existence of a replica that had access to Sora’s memories. And when she realized that the cause of it was her…}

                           _{Oh, how hard she tried to find a way around it.}

         _{Time spent in her white room sitting in her white chair at her white table staring at the white walls, the white ceiling, so much of it after that was spent trying to find a loophole. Because some memories were the key to waking the hero back up once more, and there was no way to deny that, and there was a chance some of them had reached her, and she had known. Had immediately known, despite what she told DiZ, that there would be no way for Xion’s continued existence.}

                                             _{But she had tried so hard to find a way to save memories of her.}

                  _{There was no way, though. Not even a scrap of memory of Xion could be saved, not a single shred—not even an image of her. And Naminé was vividly reminded of her own shortcomings sitting there, seeing the bitter smile on the face that was so like her own, and she smiled sadly in return. Guilt clouded her eyes but—it always did.}

                                             _{”I wish it didn’t have to either, Xion.”}

         _{Almost nothing she had ever said before was so sincere as that statement.}